Codependence is something that affects all of us. Not only that, I’ve found that it’s usually preventable.
It can be easy to become convinced that we have to live under someone else's thumb.
I’ve been there, but not anymore.
You can trace ALL addiction back to the same thread:
It is usually LONG after we have lost connection with our truth do we turn to external addictions of all sorts. Drugs, shopping, status, approval, posting on social media, religion, or cosmic crystals (like one I found in the desert on my hike today).
Speaking of religion and cosmic crystals, there is your relationship with your higher/inner power and then there are the ornaments and symbols that we use to connect with our deepest truths.
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Freedom comes from being aware when you or your tribe get into the dogmatic side of this, which can and does happen often in churches, spiritual communities, and even our work communities.
If it feels heavy, or dogmatic, say something. Why not be the sword of truth and catalyst for transformation in your tribe?
Why choose to suffer in silence another day?
Here is how I found to flip the script and take control. Are you ready?
There is a powerful paradox in the concept of codependence because we are all connected to and interdependent on one another.
Unlike codependence, interdependence can be a very empowering concept, because when we choose to align/connect to others WITHOUT attachment (and their gifts,) only then do we become empowered to play our role at the highest possible levels.
Here are a few quick tips I’ve found to break the bonds of codependence in my life.
1. Never say yes when you mean no, or not yet. Easier said than done, but if you want more financial and life freedom, it’s critical that you take ownership over your ability to choose.
Your body knows when something is not right, right away. Trust your intuition more and you will become much more intuitive and simply find yourself in the right place at the right time. It works like magic, but I’m pretty sure it’s just physics.
All Is Energy In Motion - What you put out is what you get back.
Don’t believe you have a choice in your current scenario? Whether you choose to exercise your rights or not, you are a sovereign being and you have rights endowed to you by your nation and your creator. Rights of autonomy, and freedom from harassment.
Exercise your rights.
Ultimately, codependence is an illusion perpetuated by our bad habits (many that we learned from our well-meaning parents) like not saving enough money so we can retain the right to tell a boss or client to respectfully shove it, if needed. Own it to change it.
2. Practice saying “not yet,” or “let me think about it.” If you are afraid of retaliation from the person asking, then you really don’t need to be around them, or you need to reframe your relationship with them.
Anyone who doesn’t respect your space to reflect is a big red flag. Also, ask yourself if you are respecting others' space to chose.
Unfortunately, in modern business, many salespeople are being trained to emotionally manipulate and pressure people into making decisions. Not cool, and companies who use this tactic create an energetically hellish work culture, which is exactly why I teach leaders, teams, and brands how to sell & automate without the icky “karma” associated with doing business today.
3. Pay close attention to the people in your life that you feel/believe pressure you to make decisions. It’s usually not about them but within your relationship to the “pressure” and “fear” of saying “not yet” you will find the keys to the freedom you seek.
If you aren't clear, ask yourself or the "asker" clarifying questions until you are clear.
Take time to write it out, journal it, and discuss it with someone who will support your growth.
Most of all, practice taking ownership over your ability to choose. If you do, freedom and expansion will greet you everywhere you go.